More Fluid Thoughts on Fantastical Fake Mystics…
I once had a preacher tell me that if I were to lose weight, God would finally release His blessings onto me. He said I needed to prove to myself and to God that I had discipline and willpower so that the love of God would finally be shown to me. “Fat = bad,” so therefore I was morally corrupt. According to this preacher, my fatness was the reason why bad things kept happening to me. My overdeveloped breast at age nine was the reason men lusted after me – assaulted me even— which was my fault, too. It didn’t matter how much I prayed or how kind I had been to people; God wouldn’t love as much as he could have because of my stomach, said that preacher. Another preacher I knew gave a sermon on how silly it was for Black people to protest police brutality. Soon after, I would find myself leaving the church for good and I followed the neo-spiritualists on Instagram and Twitter. They, too, would say things like “fat carries negative energy and blocks your chakras” or “femininity is divine so therefore we should submit to masculine energy because it is our nature.” I soon figured out that most people on this planet don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. Spirituality has been a burdensome and benevolent journey for me. I left the church because of the harm that was done to me and my people. And then, as I leaned into new age spirituality, I started to hear the same old conservative talking points mixed in with Hoodoo Instagram witches and recently realized gurus who sell teas that apparently cure cancer. “Detox your colon to get rid of parasites that are affecting your womb and ability to have children and don’t forget to rub your snake oil on your temples before bed” should have been their slogan, but it’s not as catchy as “Positive Vibes Only.” I can recount the numerous times that both pastors and gurus have blamed the individual for their circumstance and echoed various sentiments of all the “isms” and “phobias”. So, what are we – people who enjoy the catharsis of spirituality— to do when our bishops and Babalawos reiterate western colonialism? What do we do when the people who we uphold and regard in the highest order mimic our oppressor? The answer – for me— is simple: We move. We move and re-center each other and build community and make sure that compassion and humanity is at the center of every value we hold near and dear. We embrace all people regardless of ability, sex, gender, class, etc. and imagine and work to create a better world. I, for one, am starting with myself by questioning everything that I learned and understanding it to be indoctrination. What can I unlearn today that will push me towards a more compassionate version of myself? Who can I be in community to with to help create a safe and sustainable society? This journey will be tiring. This journey will be both a blessing and a curse just like how spirituality was for me. But the blessing will prevail. Together we will create a world where no one worries about not receiving blessings from deities above based on their abled-bodiness or blackness or fatness. We will create a world with our own hands where all are blessed and wanting nothing simply because we are human.
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